Barber in Ditchling Rd, Brighton BN1 6JG, UK

Look at these business cards. They're so damned sharp you could cut your hair with them. But why take that risk? Book an appointment and I can do it for you and, frankly, make a much better job of it. 

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And I won't use business cards. That would be mad. Instead, I'll use scissors and clippers, like any normal barber.  

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CALL or TEXT me on 07951 951 025 between 9am and 6pm to make an appointment. Sorry - no walk-ins. 

Once we've agreed a date and time for your appointment, make your way to SOLUTION BARBERS in Fiveways at 296a Ditchling Road BRIGHTON BN1 6JG and take a seat in my chair. Then we'll begin. 

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Don't worry. The chair isn't secretly hinged. Of course it isn't. It won't tip you backwards into a snake pit or down into the cellar of the pie shop next door. Equally, it won't sink into the floor and take you, via a complicated system of tunnels, into the cockpit of Thunderbird 3 either.